do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize