there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
