just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
