im six kinds of drunk right now
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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