I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
