you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
