He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
