tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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