i would punch a child for taco bell
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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