Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
