I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
