Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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