If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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