3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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