Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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