Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.

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(407): View more from Florida

You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld

Fav 51 3919 784
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(248): View more from Michigan

I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.

Fav 11 1558 2888
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(250): View more from British Columbia

They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am

Fav 3 3567 1484
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(302): View more from Delaware

Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.

Fav 2 1183 1411
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(937): View more from Ohio

They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night

Fav 6 2190 704
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(954): View more from Florida

I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp

Fav 2 723 518
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(708): View more from Illinois

Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"

Fav 1 281 163
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(727): View more from Florida

I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.

Fav 1 38 37
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