sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Randomize
