You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
