can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
