My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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