I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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