i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
