Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
