my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
