Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
