I hate your face
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
only you would photoshop your dick
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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