Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
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Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
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I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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