I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
