i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
