she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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