"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
