i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
