I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I think i got beer on your cat.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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