can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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