didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
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Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
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do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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