38 yer olds are good kisserssss
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
