That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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