NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
