Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
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didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Mom said you looked used
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There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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