when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
