The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
