It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
