I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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