Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
