Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
