I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
a search helicopter?!
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
