she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
