Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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