My Higher Power is John Stamos
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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