Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
