i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
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I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
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LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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