i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
