Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
