u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
