i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think a kid would responsible me up
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
