meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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