Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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