when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
how does that bad decision feel?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
