I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
