i already hear my dad disowning me
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
