when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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