Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You pole danced in your parka.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
