just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
