I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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